Book Review – Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire

Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire

Every Heart a Doorway is about a girl named Nancy who gets sent to a boarding school for youths who have been to different worlds and come back. Like all those at this school, Nancy cannot get back through the door that led to her particular world, in this case the underworld, and so must learn to cope and live in the ‘real’ world. She makes friends, and bonds with others like her when a number of grisly murders happen at the school. Together, Nancy and her friends must find out who would commit such crimes.

I had no idea what to expect when I first started listening to this book on audio, but I absolutely fell in love. The way Seanan McGuire writes her characters is so detailed and wonderful, I wanted to know and be friends with all of these people. In addition, McGuire has created characters who represent those who do not receive much attention – Nancy herself is asexual, and there are nonbinary and gay characters as well.

This book made me feel like I did when I was a child, perhaps even how I feel now. I believed I could enter secret worlds that were entirely made for me, and like the young people at Miss Eleanor’s School, I find myself looking back to those days of whimsy and adventure, even if they were only in my head. And, much like the doors of those worlds, Every Heart a Doorway is itself like a door into a world where people can understand you. There’s so much folklore and fairytale in it as well that I now know that it is no wonder I was so enthralled with the story.

This is probably my favorite book this year, and I have read some amazing books. I recommend to anyone who wants a door back to whimsy.



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Mid Year Book Freak Out Tag!

I’m a little late to this, but I’ve been seeing book bloggers and booktubers doing this tag, and I figured I would join them! So this is my Mid Year Book Freak Out Tag. Unfortunately, because I’ve been working on finishing my Masters, I haven’t read as many books as I would like this year (only 13), but I have read some great ones. And I’m in the middle of some others which I will tell you about at the end!

1. Best book you’ve read so far in 2019

This question is really hard to answer because all of the books I’ve read so far are amazing. I am going to cheat and pick 2: Einstein’s Dreams by Alan Lightman and The Deep by Rivers Solomon.

Einstein's Dreams by Alan Lightman

Einstein’s Dreams is just so creative in the ways it portrays time and perspective in the world.

The Deep by Rivers Solomon

The Deep turns historical trauma into a deep fantasy, dealing with memory and identity experienced with and without such trauma.

2. Best sequel you’ve read so far in 2019

So I’ve only read one sequel this year, but I really did enjoy it, and that is Death in Dark Blue by Julia Buckley, part of her Writer’s Apprentice mystery novels.

Death in Dark Blue by Julia Buckley

It’s not the best written book, but it gave me what I needed at the time: a fun mystery, drama and suspense, romance, and the main character is a writer! Overall a fun book to read, and I have the third book in the series waiting for me.

3. New release you haven’t read yet, but want to

It’s not coming out until the end of the month, but I really want to read The Miraculous by Jess Redman. This is a middle grade novel that deals with death, healing, and childhood in the whimsy of magic. The darkness of it sounds right up my alley, but also the longing to go back to childhood and knowing that magic exists.

4. Most anticipated release for the second half of the year

This would definitely have to be the upcoming sequel to Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe. I don’t know when it’s coming out yet, and it’s probably not going to be this year, but I have my eyes peeled for it and I can’t wait to see what happens to Ari and Dante!

5. Biggest disappointment

Honestly none of the books I’ve read this year were bad, but if I had to pick a disappointment that would probably be The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff.

The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff

It was a very good book, but I think it would have been better if Hoff had compared more of Tao with Winnie the Pooh in a more direct way – his comments on the more ancient Tao and Pooh’s Tao seemed a bit too separate.

6. Biggest surprise

That would be There’s Someone Inside Your House by Stephanie Perkins. I had heard good things about this book, and I was looking for a new thriller.

There's Someone Inside Your House by Stephanie Perkins

But I didn’t expect to be so invested and emotional about this book! There’s so much that goes on with love and friendship, which made me want to cry, but also the fear of the person who is inside those character’s houses, threatening their lives and livelihood. I did not expect to be on the edge of my seat the whole time!

7. Favorite new author (debut or new to you)

Hands down, this has got to be Patricia A. McKillip. I had heard of her before on lists of fantasy authors and novels, but when I read The Forgotten Beasts of Eld I was enthralled with her writing and world-building.

The Forgotten Beasts of Eld by Patricia A. McKillip

McKillip is definitely my new favorite fantasy author. Right now I am reading her book of short stories, Wonders of the Invisible World, and I am thoroughly enjoying it. McKillip can write hidden worlds and magical creatures like no other.

8. Newest fictional crush

Honestly, this is going to have to be Sybel from The Forgotten Beasts of Eld. She is a beautiful, powerful woman who can use magic, communicate with all creatures mythical or not, and puts fear into the hearts of the mightiest of men. I would not at all mind if she called me with magic to live on her mountain with all those fantastic creatures.

9. Newest favorite character

This is probably Yetu from The Deep. I really felt like I related to her in terms of growing up and figuring out who I am and what I want to do with my life. While her journey is much more dramatic, traumatic, and magical than mine, she shows great strength and vulnerability when trying to reconcile who she was and who she could be. Not to mention that she is basically a fearsome, siren-like mermaid who can hold the entire history of a people inside her person. That is badass.

10. Book that made you cry

Only one book made me cry a little bit this year, and that was Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh.

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh

Not much to say except that this book was so funny, it made me cry with laughter at times.

11. Book that made you happy

So many of the books I’ve read have made me happy, but I will narrow it down to three. Through the Woods by Emily Carroll not only took me to my favorite genre, fairytale and folklore retellings, but also her art and illustration is just so beautiful. Of course The Forgotten Beasts of Eld was so fantastic I can’t help smiling when thinking about it. And lastly is Hyperbole and a Half again because it made me roar with laughter.

12. Most beautiful book you’ve bought so far this year (or received)

This would have to be Through the Woods by Emily Carroll, as not only is the cover beautiful, but Carrolls art and illustrations are gorgeous, dark, creepy, and mesmerizing.

Through the Woods by Emily Carroll

13.What books do you need to read by the end of the year?

Here’s the thing, I don’t NEED to read any books by the end of the year. However, I have many that I want to read, and many that I want to finish. I’ll just talk about the latter for now, as there are so many on my TBR shelf. Right now I’m in the middle of The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde,

The Picture of Dorian Gray

Wonders of the Invisible World by Patricia A. McKillip,

Wonders of the Invisible World

and Every Heart A Doorway by Seanan McGuire.

Every Heart a Doorway (Wayward Children, #1)

I will probably finish the last of these first as it is a rather short book and I am listening to it via Scribd.

14. Favorite book community member

I watch quite a bit of BookTube, and so here are my favorites:

The Book Leo

Jen Campbell

A Case for Books

booksandquills

Fictional Fates

Paperback Dreams

Peruse Project

Slytherin-bookworm-guy

Please feel free to give me recs of other bookish peoples!

And that’s the end of the tag! I tag all readers who want to do this.

Happy reading!

Book Review – The Deep by Rivers Solomon

The Deep by Rivers Solomon

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The Deep by Rivers Solomon

The Deep by Rivers Solomon is absolutely a five-star read. The premise is that the African slaves who were dumped off the side of slave ships gave birth to water-breathing children who then became mermaid-like creatures called the wajinru. In this group of people there is what is called the Historian, who holds all of the memories and, of course, history of the wajinru as a whole. Only the Historian remembers. The Deep is about one such Historian, Yetu, who breaks from tradition to find herself, and ultimately reconnect with the history of her people.

This book is about memory and who holds memories, whose job it is to remember. It is also about how remembering keeps a people and a culture alive, something I have personal experience with. I am not only a classicist, someone who keeps alive literature from the ancient world, but I am also Jewish. The latter causes me to relate to this book the most, as the wajinru, and ultimately those of African descent, try to keep memories and histories alive, so have the Jewish people after their own demise – and like Yetu, this is what I feel has been handed down to me in certain ways.
Rivers Solomon does a fantastic job depicting what she calls “Rememberings”, not only represented by the Historian, but also by the ocean that keeps the wajinru safe and their memories secure. The depth of the ocean parallels just how deeply their memories go, and us readers see how much of it gets lost when Yetu abandons the deep for a fresh start.

I recommend this book to those who keep memories alive, especially in times of turmoil like these.
Black Lives Matter, and so do their experiences and memories.



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The Coffee Book Tag!

So not a book review, but I saw this post on Literary Leisha’s blog and I thought it would be fun to do the Coffee Book Tag! I tag anyone who wants to do it.

Black Coffee: Name a series that’s tough to get into but has hardcore fans.

I think for me this would be the Game of Thrones series, but only because the show turned out badly, and because the books aren’t really finished, I don’t think I could start it and have it meet my standards.

Peppermint Mocha: Name a book that gets more popular during the winter or a festive time of year.

I don’t know if there’s a particular book, but I do know that lots of people enjoy reading Harry Potter near Christmas. Now, I am not a Christmas, I am a Chanukah, so I myself will probably just read my usual fare (likely ghost stories).

Hot Chocolate: What is your favorite middle grade book?

I really loved the Percy Jackson series, but I also love these others (couldn’t just pick one):

  • The Book of Three, first book of the Chronicles of Prydain.
  • Pages and Co.
  • Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe

Double Espresso: Name a book that kept you on the edge of your seat from start to finish.

Definitely There’s Someone Inside Your House. Never knew what was in store around the corner for our heroes!

STARBUCKS: Name a book you see everywhere.

A Curse So Dark And Lonely! I keep seeing everyone read and review it, and honestly I kinda want to read it too.

That Hipster Coffee Shop: Give a book by an indie author a shout out.

Gail Wronsky! She is a wonderful poet, and now has at least two long poetry collections out.

OOPS! I accidentally got decaf: Name a book you were expecting more from.

House of Furies by Madeleine Roux has such an interesting premise – a young woman runs away and ends up living in a house full of demon – but the characters were completely unfulfilled.

The Perfect Blend: Name a book or series that was both bitter and sweet but ultimately satisfying.

This is a tough one, but I would have to name Ghost Wall by Sarah Moss. This novella deals with really heavy subjects, but the main character has a good ending and the less heavy themes are super interesting.

A Cup of Tea: Your favorite classic.

I mean, knowing myself I’d have to say Lord of the Rings. But I also love anything written by Shirley Jackson.

Flat White: A book that isn’t a novel.

Edith Wharton’s Book of Ghost Stories! These are just the best, chilling, gothic, everything you want in a spooky story.

Book Review – The Forgotten Beasts of Eld by Patricia A. McKillip

The Forgotten Beasts of Eld by Patricia A. McKillip

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


The Forgotten Beasts of Eld is a high fantasy tale that I am so fortunate to have found. A wizard woman who commands animals and learns, along with others she loves and who love her, to be a real and genuine person. Sybel the wizard woman is the link between the hidden world of magic and that of men, two of which are fortunate to be able to enter into her world.

McKillip has written a deep and real character that is Sybel, a complicated woman who learns about herself, even in the midst of the worst experiences a woman could have. She writes a mythology that I want to delve deeper into, and I hope that it exists further in her other novels. The writing is slow and contemplative, and, while the lack of action may deter some readers, I found the story to be wonderfully meditative and atmospheric.

McKillip has turned the Arthurian legends upside down, and made women and the legends of nature those that change not only the fate of the world, but also how the world chooses to live. The Arthurian king to Sybel’s Merlin-like character has yet to grow into a fine man, but he has grown with love, and that is what Sybel has had to learn to give and receive.

I’ve felt I can relate very strongly with Sybel, in terms of strength, both in possession and in wanting; of wanting to love and be loved; of wanting to know who I am and why; of learning that being is complicated and yet the most wonderful thing to be.

Readers who loved books like The Chronicles of Prydain and A Wizard in Earthsea will absolutely love The Forgotten Beasts of Eld.



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Book Review – There’s Someone Inside Your House by Stephanie Perkins

There’s Someone Inside Your House by Stephanie Perkins

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


There’s Someone Inside Your House has been the most compelling read for me so far this year.
It is full of suspense, romance, and friendship, and I was kept on the edge of my seat the whole time.

The following are what I did and didn’t like about the book – warning: may contain some spoilers.

What I liked:
-Representation: the main character, Makani, is a teenager who is both Hawaiian and black; her grandmother is black; and one of her two best friends, Darby, is a transgender man. There was also a lot of balance gender-wise: good, deep female characters, and male characters that exhibit their own deep feelings.
-The suspense: the serial killer of this novel likes to mess with his victims, so it sent my heart a’thumping whenever someone seemed to be going out of their mind.
-Perkins really tried to make the characters help each other, and I think she did a very good job. One thing I was a bit nervous about at first was that some of the friendships got a bit rocky when the killings started to happen – thankfully friendship wins over murder.
-The romance: I really loved the protagonist and her romantic interest together – I kind of wish we would have seen more of them exploring their romance, but honestly, who could with a serial killer on the loose?

What I didn’t like:
-The ending: honestly even though everything pretty much got wrapped up in the end, we did not get to see the characters go back to some kind of normalcy. While I realize that they can really never lead a normal life again, I would have wanted the characters to get a chance to go back home.
-Friends dropping each other just like that: there is that one part in the story when Makani’s friends don’t support her. Now they do end up friends again shortly after, but it was the reason for such a sudden withdrawal that didn’t sit too well with me.

As you can see, there are more positives than negatives. I truly loved this novel, and I recommend it to everyone!



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Reader Problems Book Tag

Hello fellow readers! I just realized I never have done a book tag on here, so I thought today would be a good day to do one! I’ve decided to do the Reader Problems Book Tag, as I am a reader with many, many problems (I jest, but this tag does seem fun!). I got this book tag from The Nameless Book Blog, do check her out!


1. You have 20,000 books on your TBR. How in the world do you decide what to read next?

What I pick is going to depend on the following factors:

  • Easiness: I will probably pick the book that is easiest to read, either because it is shorter, or just not so dense, or the topic is not so heavy. It will likely be a book of short stories cause that’s generally what I go for if I don’t know what to read.
  • Covers: yes, sometimes I judge a book by its cover, and the most interesting (or relevant) cover is going to get picked.
  • Oldest: by oldest I mean the ones that have been sitting on my TBR for a very, very long time. I do try to pick up the older ones after I’ve read a new one.

2. You’re halfway through a book and you’re just not loving it. Do you quit or are you committed?

Honestly, I’m probably not going to finish it. I’d rather stop and read something I know I’ll love than suffer through a book just to get to the end. I did this with The Secret History – part of me wanted to finish it because everyone was saying it was really interesting, but I just did not get on with that book.

3. The end of the year is coming and you’re so close, but so far away on your Goodreads reading challenge. Do you try to catch up and how?

Eh whatever happens happens. If I can find some shorter books to read I will, and I have done so with short stories and poetry. If I can’t I don’t worry about it, and I know I’ll get to read more books in the next year.

4. The covers of a series you love do. not. match. How do you cope?

I’ll live. I do try to get matching covers as much as I can, but I don’t usually get upset if they don’t match.

5. Every one and their mother loves a book you really don’t like. Who do you bond with over shared feelings?

Probably my best friend, who generally agrees or at least understands my feelings. Otherwise I will go on the internet (i.e. this blog or twitter) to rant with other bookworms.

6. You’re reading a book and you are about to start crying in public. How do you deal?

Cry me little heart out!

7. A sequel of a book you loved just came out, but you’ve forgotten a lot from the prior novel. Will you re-read the book? Skip the sequel? Try to find a synopsis on Goodreads? Cry in frustration?!?!?!?

I will probably skim through the first book and read a synopsis and then head right to the sequel. Though I am very blessed with a good memory and this doesn’t happen too often.

8. You do not want anyone. ANYONE. borrowing your books. How do you politely tell people nope when they ask?

Well this would never happen, I always lend my books. However, I am choosy as to whom I lend them to cause I know who is and isn’t going to be responsible. If someone wants to borrow mine and I don’t want them to, I will try to find them an alternative option.

9. Reading ADD. You’ve picked up and put down 5 books in the last month. How do you get over your reading slump?

At this point it’s just me waiting to find the right book to read. When that happens I stick to it. Or I do my usual and find a book of short stories, which is good if I want different plots.

10. There are so many new books coming out that you’re dying to read! How many do you actually buy?

My rule at bookstores is that I can only buy two at a time, so probably two (maybe three if I’m feeling like it).

11. After you’ve bought the new books you can’t wait to get to, how long do they sit on your shelf before you get to them? 

It honestly depends. Sometimes I’ll get to one so quickly and then breeze right through it. Other times the books can sit for months at a time (they are so sad!).

Thank you all for reading, and I tag whoever wants to do this tag! Do tag me as well so I can see your answers!

Book Review – A Dark and Stormy Murder by Julia Buckley

A Dark and Stormy Murder by Julia Buckley

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


In A Dark and Stormy Murder Lena London travels to the small town of Blue Lake to work with her idol, the author Camilla Graham. However, Lena gets more than she bargained for when a murder occurs in the quiet town, and several mysteries -and perhaps a romance- begin to overlap and come apart around her.

When I went to read this book, I was expecting a stupid and fun mystery – what I got was a thoroughly enjoyable mystery that gave me vibes of Jane Eyre and Anne of Green Gables. Lena London has the dream job I wish I had, and the entire story kept me glued to the page as I eagerly read to find out what happens.
The cast of characters are simply wonderful, with the main crew being Lena and Camilla, a police officer, and a man guilty until proven innocent. Together these characters support each other as wholesomely as anyone can.

Julia Buckley’s writing is simple, and yet you feel like you are present for everything Lena is experiencing. No the writing is not so sophisticated, but any story that can leave me in suspense is a great story to me! I’ve already ordered the next two in the series, and I’m eager to get reading as this book ends on a sort of cliffhanger.

I recommend this book to anyone who wants a good mystery. I guarantee you will all wish you knew such characters!



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My Favorite Horror/Spooky Books and Stories (so far)

It’s midwinter, which means it’s time to curl up with a good book. For me, this often means curling up with something spooky or scary. While the Autumn months are my favorite in terms of coziness and spooks, there is something about the dark of Winter that makes me want some darker spooks. If you also like to be spooked in the Winter months, or if you’re just looking for something a little more thrilling, here is a list of my favorite spooky books, stories, and authors so far (have I said “spooky” enough yet?).

The Ghost Stories of Edith Wharton


I love Wharton’s short stories because they have such simple plots and not very complex characters, but what is set to be complex is the darkness and looming memories that might just be living ghosts. I love the idea of staying in an old house in the middle of nowhere, and knowing you are in the middle of some terrific secret. Most of these stories were are set during the time Wharton wrote them, maybe a little earlier, which gives much more tangibility to the stories. So, if you like old, gothic houses full of ghosts and distant memories of the past, then this is the spooky collection for you.

The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson


The Haunting of Hill House shows the insecurities of a woman, Eleanor, magnified in a house that may be alive, that wants her to stay there forever. Her new companions in the house are trying to determine the supernatural nature of the house, but Eleanor’s connection to the house may tell them all they need to know.
This book, and really anything else by Shirley Jackson, are the most subtly spooky stories I have ever, and likely will ever read. Just as with Edith Wharton, Jackson’s stories focus on the mundane, and how the mundanity gets interrupted by something supernatural, or even preternatural. The fact is, though, no one, characters and readers included, are sure whether the supernatural elements are real or merely a figment of the imagination, and, in my opinion, that is the scariest part of all.

Children of the Corn by Stephen King


I am a huge fan of Stephen King’s shorter works, and I prefer them to his longer works. Children of the Corn is no exception. The short story has a more sinister ending (in my opinion) than any of the movies do (in which, oftentimes, the main characters survive the evils). In the story there is a primeval, eldritch being controlling the children of a small town, and feeding on them when they reach the age of 19 – it will also feed on anything or anyone that goes against it. The story ends with the age limit decreasing by one year, so that everyone who was 18 must now be given to the being in the cornfields.
What I love about this story is that you don’t really know what is going on, what the being is. All you know is that it is something from deep within the earth, and that fact, the fact that something so evil and terrifying could be lying right under your feet, is utterly horrific and wonderful.

The Bloody Chamber by Angela Carter


This is a short story featured in Carter’s collection, The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories, however, I am only focusing on this one story. Based on the fairy tale of Bluebeard, we get the same amount of terror and gore featured in the original tale. However, Carter features women as characters much more prominently, and also makes these women have connections with each other, connections that ultimately defeat the wife-killer. The main character, who marries our Bluebeard, goes through similar trials to the original tale: she must not go in the forbidden room, but ultimately does, finding within the corpses of Bluebeard’s other wives. The main character is to be killed too, but because of her close connection with her mother, she is saved and she and her mother live well ever after.
Carter does a fantastic job keeping the terror of the original story, while giving the women a sense of autonomy and strength. Even if you know the fairy tale well, you will go into this story feeling so much terror and fear for the main character, wondering what she will find in the rooms of the secretive castle.

Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury


This is the most perfect autumnal, spooky story I have ever read. A carnival comes into town, and the kids go see it after hours, but they discover that the people running the carnival are not what they seem. There is something terrifying about the carnival, something primeval and eldritch in the way it causes fear. Can the kids and their allies solve the mysteries of this carnival, and defeat it before it causes any harm?
What I love about this book is that it makes you feel Autumn in all definitions of the season. The coziness of reading a book, the crispness of an Autumn night, the spooky feeling that something unknown is lurking. I think the quote below captures the entire feeling of the book:
“For these beings, fall is ever the normal season, the only weather, there be no choice beyond. Where do they come from? The dust. Where do they go? The grave. Does blood stir their veins? No: the night wind. What ticks in their head? The worm. What speaks from their mouth? The toad. What sees from their eye? The snake. What hears with their ear? The abyss between the stars. They sift the human storm for souls, eat flesh of reason, fill tombs with sinners. They frenzy forth….Such are the autumn people.”

Frankenstein by Mary Shelly

We all know this classic story: mad scientist creates monster, monster kills, people kill monster, etc.? Well, not exactly in the book. Mary Shelly’s classic horror story is not just creepy, but it is also quite philosophical in the way that it approaches the monster. Victor Frankenstein (not even a doctor yet!) is a college dropout who wants to find the secret of conquering death after the death of his mother. Of course, he creates the monster, but refuses to care for the creature as his own. From this comes a chase and a dialogue between Frankenstein and the monster, with the monster discovering who he is and what kind of person he should be based on his environment, and based on the actions of his creator.
This is not a terrifying story, but it does make one think deeply about death, life, and the consequences of playing god. What could be more fearful?

Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier

Another classic story, Rebecca is about a young woman who marries Max deWinter, a wealthy man from an old English family, whose wife, Rebecca, died the year before under mysterious circumstances. The young woman enters Max’s life and home, meets his family, friends, and colleagues, but cannot shake the feeling that Rebecca’s never-dying spirit follows and mocks her, as she is compared to the dead woman by everyone she meets. Eventually she solves the mystery of Rebecca’s death, but not without disruption to her whole life.
This is a more modern take on the classic, gothic story of a woman who marries a man with a wife in the attic, metaphorically speaking. Regarding Rebecca’s character, we know she isn’t a ghost, we never see her, neither does the young woman. And yet, Rebecca is always there, a lurking memory in the shadows of Manderly. While this isn’t the spookiest of stories, you get a creeping sense of something as you read.

Book Review – Gwendy’s Button Box by Stephen King and Richard Chizmar

Gwendy's Button Box by Stephen King

Gwendy’s Button Box by Stephen King

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


I tend to very much love Stephen King’s shorter works, and Gwendy’s Button Box is no exception. Set in King’s favorite setting of Castle Rock, Maine, this is a story about Gwendy, a young girl who is given a box covered in buttons by a man in a black coat and black bowler hat. The box improves her life drastically, but, as she learns soon after receiving it, the box comes with a price.

What I love about this story is that it is about making mistakes in youth, and making choices as an adult. Through our mistakes and choices, we all find out what is important in life; what we love and what we want to avoid; what we know is best for ourselves. Through Gwendy, King and co-author Richard Chizmar show how such mistakes and choices can affect life, albeit with help from a box bent on destruction. It is definitely a coming-of-age story; a horrific one.

The only thing I would criticize would be the illustrations by Keith Minnion included in this edition. There were not enough of them, and, to be honest, I wasn’t too fond of them. If there had been more I might have appreciated them more.

While this book didn’t scare me, I can tell you right now that if a man in a black coat and black bowler hat came up to me offering a box covered in colorful buttons, I would refuse to take it.



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